Hi! It’s Annie!
I am going to take the beginning of this to say an early Happy Birthday to Geonhak (or Leedo) of ONEUS. I’ve done an entire post on him if you want to check it out and if you haven’t listened to ONEUS, go do that! They are one of the best and most underrated K-Pop groups out there! I have obviously been very very into romance books and shows for a while now. And after consuming so much romance media I think I have a pretty big list of romance tropes that I very much like and ones that I really do not. And after being everywhere when looking at K-Drama reviews and also being semi-present on BookTok, I’ve found people with so many opinions on romance tropes as well. Including many who agree with my takes and also very much disagree. Romance is one of those things that’s really dependent on the reader and what they personally enjoy. But I do think there are some universally hated tropes and I thought it would be fun to argue for and against some of the tropes that come up the most. Which of the hate is deserved and which isn’t? Let’s just get into it!
Love Triangle:
I don’t want to spend too much time on this one because this is the one I’ve probably talked most at length about. I’m not a huge fan of love triangles unless it kind of looks like a love triangle, but really isn’t. That usually takes the form of the person in the middle of the love triangle actually having a preference from the beginning. The other person might be there to shake things up a little or maybe to be the hopeless lovable love interest that many of us actually prefer, but there’s already a clear way that this love triangle is going to go. A love triangle where the person in the middle is truly in between two characters, I usually feel like ends up under-developing the relationship and not giving the characters enough personality outside of romance. It spends so much time focusing on the drama of the situation that everything else gets lost. Not to mention, most people don’t actually relate to being in a situation like a true love triangle. Overall, for me personally it detracts from the plot and usually also detracts from character development. I like to see the true development of a couple, not just them getting together. Which is one of the elements that usually gets lost with a love triangle.
Conclusion- Deserved
Big Brother Dynamic:
This is one that has been coming up more and more and I can’t say that I’m mad at it. Hear me out, I do understand why there are a lot of people who don’t like this trope. And there are definitely ways that this trope can end up more creepy than anything else. I am not a fan when this trope involves two characters who were practically raised as siblings. I see this happen a lot in dramas where the secondary love interest will sometimes be someone who was also raised by her parents with her and who she looked at as a brother for most of her life. If someone was raised as your brother and you at any point considered them a brother, that’s just as bad as someone who’s actually related to you. Because, at that point, they might as well be. But I really do love this trope when it involves a brother’s best friend who the main character might have grown up seeing often, or someone who the main character was childhood friends with who was a little older, or even just an outside person who took them under their wing at any point in life and kind of had that caring big brother energy. As long as they weren’t raised as siblings; this is a trope I usually enjoy. Part of that is because I usually go for the big brother type when it comes to fictional characters… and also sometimes in real life. I really love a guy who’s super caring and has that responsible energy. I’ve recently gotten into ‘Hidden Love’ and that show has this dynamic exactly. He’s her big brother’s best friend and has looked out for her for years because of that. Because I already like this dynamic, it was easy for me to fall in love with this drama. This trope gets such a bad rep because of storylines that have actually resulted in incest or near-incest situations. And that I understand the hate for. But I honestly don’t think that this is most of what goes on with this trope and I really like the shows that just use this trope as an excuse to create a super responsible and respectful guy without connecting the male character so intrinsically with the female character’s childhood. Especially not their entire childhood.
Conclusion- Not Deserved
Third-Act Breakup:
I think all of us are more than familiar with this. In almost every romance story, no matter what kind of media it’s for, there’s usually a conflict and breakup that happens just before the ending. Shows seem to think that a resolution can’t be satisfying unless it’s a complete resolution that happens after fully breaking the couple up. I know that it’s formulaic at this point and there are absolutely times when a show can completely sell me on it. But there are also shows that don’t seem to know how to make the plot dramatic and compelling without having the characters break up and get back together multiple times. Or, in the case of many dramas, they don’t quite know what to do once the couple is together so instead of focusing on them as a couple they just break them up. Though this can sometimes be used in a way that I like, I usually appreciate a plot that can make the story satisfying without this much more. And I also usually find that the plots that don’t use the third act breakup will find conflict in something else for the couple to go through together. This is really good for character development and strengthening their relationship.
Conclusion- Deserved
Bad Boy vs Good Boy:
This is super prevalent and a trope that’s usually a sub category of the love triangle. The main character must choose between the sweet reliable one and the cool mysterious one. It’s always been a super popular trope and you still see it everywhere. It was very obviously in ‘Boys Over Flowers’ in the form of Junpyo and Jihoo and recently we saw it again in ‘Imitation’ with Ryok and Yujin. This always kills me because I am almost always more likely to go for the responsible sweet one and that’s usually the character that the main character doesn’t end up choosing in the end. I find that more often than not this trope involves the main female character having a preference from the beginning. So that’s not really much of an issue here. What gets me is the way this trope is often weaponized against women. Men will often say that women go for guys that they know aren’t good for them and that the “nice guys” are left in the dust. Firstly, I think that any man who is holding that much judgement against women and further victimizing themself through that judgement is absolutely not a “nice” person at all. Secondly, the whole point of the bad boy character is that often by the time that the main character ends up with him, he’s actually majorly cleaned up his act. Now it really depends on the guy. There are times where, like Junpyo, the guy has major red flags that the show refuses to acknowledge. Then you have the guys like Yijung who massively reform to the point where he asks to have time to be ready for a relationship by the time the show ends. This is often the fault of the writer for the most part who has trouble differentiating between actual flaws and things like jealousy. I think being jealous is healthy to a certain extent, but unchecked it can go way too far. If jealousy becomes controlling behavior, it is no longer even a little bit healthy. Or, in the case of ‘Boys Over Flowers’ it can be the difference between a playboy who gets controlling to get what he wants and a playboy who recognizes his playboy behavior comes from a place of insecurity and actually attempts to become a better person. Kind of interesting that both of those characters came from the same show. So this trope is really dependent on how well it’s written. But, overall, most of the hate for this trope seems to come from sexist men. And while this trope isn’t my favorite and often leaves me disappointed, that’s partly because of my personal tastes.
Conclusion- Not Deserved
Obviously, I didn’t include many tropes that are really popular. Such as enemies to lovers or best friends to lovers. Mostly because, I mainly looked for tropes that are widely hated. Both of those tropes are ones that really seem to be universally liked. I don’t think I’ve met a person who really hates either enemies to lovers or best friends to lovers. But there’s a lot of controversy over love triangles or tropes that seem to edge too far towards something creepy. Which I completely understand. But I also think it’s important to see some of these from a different perspective when we can. What may not work for one writer or audience member at all could be the perfect match for another. And whether I hate these tropes or not, I can assure you that the tropes I hate would absolutely never make me stop watching my dramas or reading my romance books. They’re just too good for that. So whether you hate these or love them, just keep reading and watching!
See you across the pond!
Sincerely, Annie
Oreos & Peanut Butter 