Hi! It’s Annie!
It is, once again, my favorite holiday. Or at least it should be. Happy Birthday to my forever ult bias and the amazing leader of the group BTS! Namjoon only gets more wise as the years go on and I am always so incredibly happy to have discovered him and to have his presence in my life, even if I haven’t actually met him. This man has gotten me through my worst times, has given advice that I now use daily, and has echoed my own feelings so that I’ve felt heard on too many occasions to count. I am continuously enchanted by this man not only because of how distractingly handsome he is (World’s Most Handsome Man to all of us no matter what!) but mainly because of his work and how amazingly human he is. His lyrics capture the human experience more than any other lyricist I’ve ever seen and he’s continually so open and honest about his mental health that it really does make it feel ok for those who are struggling, like me, to be more open and honest ourselves. (Seriously, watch me cry while I type this.) I will never forget my first time watching them live in concert at PTD LA, sitting there after the concert after my bias had just become Namjoon, staring at his face on the large poster on the screen and uncontrollably crying because I was so happy and I felt so heard. Since then I have freaked out over noticing Namjoon was reading a book I recently finished in ‘In the SOOP’ and watched his Vlives to feel less alone on nights where I’ve had insomnia. I will forever owe this man so much and all my posts for his birthday are just a start. But one thing I’m definitely covering here, is all the recent news because all of his endeavors deserve to be pushed without any further delay! So here’s to one of my favorite people on the planet on his birthday.
For those of you who regularly follow this blog, you were probably wondering why I didn’t talk about this single when it first came out. The answer is pretty much because I was waiting for Namjoon’s birthday to talk about it. And I’m glad that we’ve finally gotten here because I’ve had way too many thoughts to keep to myself. When I first heard this song, I admittedly didn’t love it. I didn’t dislike it at all either though! I loved Namjoon’s verse from the moment I heard it; I’ve always had a soft spot for his rap style. He always has this presence about him that screams for everyone to listen to him. From the cadence of his voice, to his rap style, to his actual physical presence. I wouldn’t say that it’s exactly that he’s intimidating (though he is slightly in the best way), it’s more that he has the cool candor of someone who you just feel that it’s important that you pay attention to what they say. But I will say that I am now completely obsessed with every bit of the song. It was one of those ones for me where the more I heard it, the more I absolutely adored it. It has a catchy hook that will doubtlessly get stuck in your head all day and every rapper in the song has an absolutely addicting verse that was obviously well thought out. Now if you’re one of those people looking for more clarification about the subject matter of the song, just look at the title. I’ve seen these pretty hilarious back and forth conversations on the internet about what this song is about, which is pretty clear. Or if Namjoon’s verse is cleaner than the rest of the song (it’s not). The song is literally called “SEXY NUKIM”; I think the answers to all of these questions are pretty clear. And just because BTS is an internationally loved group doesn’t mean they don’t or suddenly can’t use more mature themes. They’re all adults. But that conversation aside, this is an amazingly addictive song and I’ve probably listened to it far too many times for it to be acceptable anymore, but I don’t care!
Namjoon and Art:
One of my favorite things about Namjoon is how he’s used this time to do what he’s passionate about whether or not that went along with what people seem to expect from him. Namjoon has gone on art related podcasts and even done interviews with art related newspapers and magazines to share his love of things like modern art. He revealed his dream to one day open a gallery of his favorite pieces and has now talked extensively about the pieces that he’s collected personally over the years. Namjoon has always been vocal about how he uses his own interests such as going out into nature, reading and buying books, riding his bike, and visiting art museums to keep his sanity in his hectic life. Doing any one of those things has now been lovingly nicknamed ‘Namjooning’ by ARMY. While this was initially dismissed by many as him just listing out his hobbies; Namjoon has made it clear multiple times that he believes that life dreams and goals don’t necessarily have to have anything to do with your career. Your career is just one part of the many parts of your life. Not only has Namjoon inspired ARMY of all ages to take part in his hobbies, he’s also revealed that his hobbies are a part of his dreams. Let me break down how much this absolutely means. As someone who is currently looking into going into a profession that involves a lot of reading, writing, and knowledge of English and creative influences; him inspiring people to read is something that is insanely important to me. He’s also inspired people to look more seriously at things like hobbies and view them with a similar regard to career. I am also a person where my dreams lie mostly with my hobby plans than with my career plans. Namjoon helped me realize, and helped the public realize, that this is completely ok and a perfectly valid way to live your life. I have personally attended several more art museums than I had before I fell in love with BTS and I absolutely love having those experiences! And hearing Namjoon talk so passionately about a dream he has, not caring if it fits in with his career or what people perceive his career should be like, inspires me so much with my own dreams. I have been reading every art interview and listening to every podcast he’s put out and it only makes me happier and more inspired every time.
Leader and Human:
I really wanted to close out all of this by talking about a couple of Namjoon moments that I feel like don’t get talked about enough and have left a huge impact on me. I think the first one I want to point to is the performance of “Dionysus” at the 2019 ‘MMA’s. For those of you who have been following the blog for a while, you’ll know that Namjoon was my bias wrecker for quite a while before he became my bias. One of the things that really struck me about Namjoon in that performance, was his entrance. I think we all agree that BTS looked like Greek gods in their performance, which definitely makes sense for the theming of the song. But one of my favorite parts of this performance was that it began with individual performances from each of the boys as they each showed off a talent that really did feel like them. After each mini-performance a light would come down, symbolizing their role in the group and pointing out that BTS is a group of seven incredibly talented individuals who work together. No other group has been quite as good at pointing out the individuality of all the members in their group. Namjoon was the last, as the leader, and his part of the performance saw him walking epically onto the stage to smash a staff to the ground. While many would say this was minimalistic, I’ve cried several times while watching it and it solidified his place on my bias list. Because I don’t think any other performance moment has really screamed “that’s our leader”, like that one. On the other end of that spectrum, many ARMY are also aware that Namjoon is the member probably the most likely to talk to himself. Not only in that distracted way that I’m certain we all do, but he often does it to comfort himself. He’ll encourage himself, or tell himself to calm down, often calling himself by name. Seeing him do this has inspired me to do this a little in my own life. It’s one of the most obvious examples of positive talk that I’ve seen anyone do and it always reminds me that Namjoon is human and him also practicing positive self talk lets me know that I’m not alone. It’s also always adorable to see him do it too!
I have probably rambled for long enough about Namjoon. And admittedly, I also did cry several times while writing this. But I can’t help myself. Namjoon has been part of my bias list for a long time with BTS and he only became my bias after I saw BTS live. He’s been my bias rather than my bias wrecker for almost a year now, but this is my first birthday post after I finally realized that Namjoon is my bias. I thought I would be totally cool while writing this, but now that I’m here and doing it I realized that I’m an emotional wreck. Namjoon just means so much to me and I know he means so much to all of us. I often say that Namjoon is my comfort person, and reflecting on his birthday only makes that statement feel that much more true. I recently rewatched PTD LA with my sister because the filmed version came to Disney+. I was floored by the end of it because I was suddenly hit by a blast of feelings that I felt at the end of the concert, most of them Namjoon related, and I felt so incredibly happy. I don’t think I will ever be able to fully put into words how much Namjoon means to me. Happy Birthday Namjoon!
See you across the pond!