Hi! It’s Annie!
I’m sad. I think that’s pretty clear by the title. I was just at what I believe was my favorite concert I’ve ever been to for my ult group. Because, yes, this has been coming on for a while, but ATEEZ is officially my ult group and the ult group of this blog. If you’ve been following this blog for a while, you probably know that Yunho has been officially my ult bias for longer than that. And the concert from a couple days ago felt really personal to me for so many reasons. For one, this is the first time where I scored the tickets myself and it took a lot of determination because of the Ticketmaster glitch. For another, we were sitting so incredibly close. So close that we didn’t have to look at the screens if we didn’t want to because we could perfectly make out their facial features from where we were sitting. There was also the fact that I promised myself I’d go to this concert and have gotten better by the time it came around during a pretty rough time for me, and I have gotten better. But whatever way you want to slice it, the overall truth of the matter is that a couple nights ago I was in the same building as my ults, crying during “The Ring” of all songs because they were so close, and screaming “BREAK THE WALL!” and “ATEEZ PRESENT!” at the top of my lungs. I don’t know if it was the cold air, but I have never lost my voice that badly after a K-Pop concert. And it really feels like I was ripped out of a perfect day that I would love to relive over and over again. I was anticipating it for so long and it went by so fast! Even though ATEEZ performed for over two and half hours. (How do they perform for that long with that difficult choreography???) But I am feeling the familiar grip of post concert depression particularly badly this time. And I know that many people also know the hardships of post concert depression, including the idols themselves sometimes. So here are some of my tips to get through post concert depression and some of the things I’m doing this time in particular to make me feel a little better. Hopefully, some of these will help you out as well!
Concert Pictures and Videos:
This is absolutely going to hurt at first, but trust me and go through all of your pictures. I know everyone takes a ton. Even I do, though I don’t really like using my phone through most of any kind of concert. It’s honestly the most personal thing to you to recapture the magic from the night of the concert. Even better if you took live photos that show snippets of the concert. I’m pretty familiar with post concert depression at this point, so at one point I took a couple live photos of just Yunho walking across the stage. These pictures are now some of my absolute favorite pictures on my phone. I really love the badass performance shots, but I find the simple shots that just remind me that for a little while I occupied the same space as them to be more meaningful. And they are also automatically more heart-wrenching because they also feel more personal. A lot of people are going to have that shot of them striking that one cool pose, but only you are going to have the shot you took just because you’re a sentimental sap. After that the best thing to do is go to the videos either you or other people took of the concert. I was losing my mind so much during “The Ring” that I didn’t remember the choreography, so I had to look it up afterwards. This is the perfect time to refresh your memory. Because your brain going into shock during the concert will affect your memory of specifics a little bit. Again, going through concert footage will hurt, but it will at least remind you of the magic of the night. You can absolutely cry during this step; there is no judgement here. We all probably do it. Really, you can cry through any step of this process.
Variety Shows and Lives:
Inevitably, the photos and videos won’t feel as personal as you’ll want them to and you’ll miss sharing the space with your favorite idols. The best way to recapture the feeling of sharing the space with them, in my opinion, is to watch variety shows. Especially if they are the group’s personal variety shows. For this I use things like ‘FEVER Road’, ‘Salary Lupin’, and ‘WANTEEZ’. These are all shows that show the boys in action, interacting with each other, completing tasks, and just being themselves. This is why personal variety shows are better. Because the idols usually know the staff of their personal variety shows pretty well and the idols work as both hosts and contestants so you see them more in their natural environment. I find that watching them do things like this hurt less than watching their lives. Especially if one of the members went live after a concert. But their lives are also, admittedly, a great way to feel like you’re in the same space again. It usually takes me a few more days to be able to do this, but I love recapturing that feeling by watching the lives too. The binge-ability of any of these also makes it a good time to do other comforting things as well. Like hugging a plushie, drinking some tea, or burying yourself under blankets. Or all of the above.
Want to recapture the choreography and the awe you felt watching their performances? This is where performance videos and MVs come in. Personally, I’ve been watching all of their MVs on repeat since the ending of the concert. It’s been days now and I’m still not tired of it. Though, we’re never going to recapture the chair choreography that was “Cyberpunk”; I can capture some of that feeling by re-watching the “Deja Vu” MV. And then with ATEEZ you get the added bonus of going through their storylines. Nobody does storylines like ATEEZ does. From “HALA HALA” where we were first officially introduced to HALATEEZ, to “Say My Name” where Halateez first appeared and ATEEZ attempts to release HALATEEZ from a prison like area, to “Don’t Stop” where we see Hongjoong get his eye patch and the pirate crew get their ship back, to “Guerilla” where ATEEZ takes the mantle of revolution leaders from the now deceased HALATEEZ in another universe since HALATEEZ gave their lives fighting with ATEEZ in their own universe. Their storylines are complex and masterfully done, which reminds me of the storylines that they continue into their own concerts. They had a full pirate ship setup this time and everything!
Have Hope and Write:
It’s really easy to feel like you’ve recently had one of the best nights of your life and you’ll never get it back. Sometimes you even accuse yourself of not fully appreciating it in the moment and wishing that somehow you knew how sad you would be and have appreciated it that much more for the knowledge. From experience, I can tell you that you probably appreciated it as much as you possibly could in that moment. And the best thing about touring groups is that, usually, touring is a yearly thing. Especially for K-Pop groups. So there’s a great chance that you’ll be able to see them again next year! What’s amazing about experiences like K-Pop concerts is that once you’ve gone, nobody can ever take that experience away from you. You’ll have it forever if you want it. If you can sometimes have a poor memory, like myself, write about it! I don’t care if you’re not much of a writer, I promise you’ll thank yourself later. Write how you were feeling and what happened before and the little things that you noticed. It doesn’t have to be long, but every time you read it you’ll be pulled back into the moment. Be grateful for the memory that you have and remember that this doesn’t have to be the last time you see them.
I have absolutely cried during this process. I usually do. I know some people might find reactions like this ridiculous; but I think it’s completely natural! You just had one of your favorite nights ever and it’s over now! But just because it’s over doesn’t mean it’s left you. You experienced it, so you’ll have those moments forever! It’s ok to feel sad right now, but it’s also ok to feel awesome; because yeah, that just happened to you. I miss all the members of ATEEZ already. And I miss the fact that Yunho was not that far from me. But I feel confident that I’ll experience it again sometime, and I can at least hold onto that hope! And for now, I have all of the amazing content that still gets me through every day anyways. But post concert depression will always hit so incredibly hard.
See you across the pond!